Be more disagreeable
I read a fascinating article recently. It was quoting research that measured career success against various psychological characteristics.
The strongest correlation was with agreeableness; but in a negative way. You’d think that being agreeable would be good for your career but the research showed the opposite.
Agreeable people were likely to have less career advancement and also earn less than people who were not so agreeable.
The research indicated that the ability to say no was highly correlated with success. It made people better negotiators.
Does this apply to dentistry?
After some reflection, I realised that it does. Here are some examples of how being too agreeable is a disadvantage for a dentist:
A patient’s teeth are in bad condition and they need lots of work. You should tell them but you don’t because you worry about upsetting them.
A patient wants you to do their fillings one at a time. In the interests of efficiency you should say no but you agree in order to keep the patient happy.
A patient keeps failing appointments. You should to get rid of them out of your practice but you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
A sales rep has brought donuts into the office. They want to sell you a new composite. You should say no but you buy it anyway because they’ve been nice to you.
You hate dentures and lose money every time you do one. You need to stop doing them but denture patients are such nice people.
A patient won’t let you lean the chair back. You should to refer them off but you treat them anyway and your back pays the price.
A patient asks for a discount. You should say no but you give in to avoid a confrontation.
Your laboratory sometimes sends unsatisfactory work or sends work back late. You should find a new lab but you would feel guilty because you’ve been with them for years.
A staff member is being disruptive and de-motivating other staff. You need to sack them but you don’t because you hate dismissing people.
The problem is that most of us dentists are introverts. We run a mile to avoid confrontation. Having tough conversations doesn’t come naturally. Some self-reflection is needed to realise what being too agreeable is costing us.
Are you being too agreeable? Is it time for you to start saying no more often?
