Accept defeat gracefully
In dental practice, it doesn’t matter how brilliant you are, you don’t always win.
Not every patient will say “yes” and accept your treatment plan. Sometimes the defeats you face can seem unfair and incomprehensible.
For example…
You carefully diagnosed Mr Smith’s dental situation.
You lay out the problems and the solutions and come up with a sensible, achievable treatment plan. The treatment discussion is going well, until suddenly, out of the blue, the mood changes.
Mr Smith becomes skeptical and argumentative. He leaves, saying:
“I’ll go home and think about it.”
You go on to your next patient feeling a bit mystified.
Maybe, even worse, later that afternoon a nurse tells you:
“Mr Smith has asked us to send his records to another office.”
Ouch!
Such situations will happen. How do you deal with them?
When you face defeat, you can either be gracious or you can be mean.
As the famous poem by Rudyard Kipling says:
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
So, whenever a patient loses confidence in you or your treatment plan it’s important to do four things:
1. Accept their decision gracefully
Whinging and complaining and saying they are “making a mistake” will only further alienate them and drive them out of the practice.
Once a patient says a firm “no” accept it humbly and with a gentle smile. That gives you the best odds of retaining them in the practice.
2. Offer alternatives
There are always alternatives to ideal treatment. Offer them and see if the patient would like something else.
It’s always better to do something than nothing. See if there is some other way you can help the patient.
3. Stay positive and be kind to yourself
Just because a patient said “no” to ideal treatment does not mean that the next one will say “no”.
So many dentists take rejection personally and go back into their shells. Keep offering each and every patient ideal dentistry.
Don’t let a single “no” ruin the rest of your day.
Remember this, the two main reason that patients reject treatment are:
They don’t value their teeth
They don’t have the money
Neither of those things are your fault.
4. Learn and grow
As mentioned, everyone gets a “no” sometimes.
But, if you’re hearing “no” to your treatment plans all day long then it is a sign you’re doing something wrong.
Take the feedback and improve your skills so that you present treatment alternatives in a better way. Take a communication course if you need to.
Live, in-person seminar, Melbourne 16 May 2026
In-office seminar
Online seminar
